200 Funny Color Names Paint Brands Never Used

Whoever named "beige" clearly gave up halfway through. We live in a world where paint companies employ professional color namers who probably have English degrees and too much time on their hands, yet we still pretend "off-white" is descriptive. Funny color names are everywhere once you start looking — from paint swatches that sound like rejected indie bands to crayons that make you wonder what the naming team was smoking.

Whether you're looking at home decor catalogs, scrolling through design apps, or just procrastinating at the hardware store, ridiculous shade names are comedy gold. Some sound like Victorian diseases, others like fantasy potions, and a few sound like someone just smashed their keyboard and called it a day. Let's celebrate the colors that had the audacity to be named something better than "blue."

Our pick

Dead Salmon

for when regular salmon wasn't depressing enough

On this page

Funny Color Names of All Time
Paint Colors That Sound Like Indie Bands
Food-Inspired Color Names That Are Deeply Upsetting
Crayola Parody Names for Adults
Pretentious Designer Color Names That Cost Extra
Color Names That Sound Like Diseases
Weirdly Specific Nail Polish Names
Color Names Based on Emotions No One Admits To
Absurdly Long British Paint Names
Funny Color Names for Creative Projects
How to Use These Funny Color Names
Frequently Asked Questions
Conclusion

200 names

Funny Color Names of All Time

Some color names transcend their medium and become legends. These are the shades that make you stop scrolling, reread the label, and screenshot it to send to your group chat. They work for paint swatches, nail polish bottles, or anywhere else humans have been tasked with naming 47 versions of the same hue.

1
Dead Salmon
for when regular salmon wasn't depressing enough
2
Unicorn Barf
surprisingly popular in kids' art supplies
3
Elephant's Breath
a real Farrow & Ball paint color that costs $110 a gallon
4
Cremation Ash
yes, this exists
5
Mummy's Tomb
perfect for that "I collect cursed artifacts" vibe
6
Dirty Martini
the only green that comes with an implied hangover
7
Passive Aggressive Purple
doesn't need to say it's fine, you already know
8
Existential Crisis Blue
the exact shade of 3 a.m. thoughts
9
Colonoscopy Prep
a beige no one asked for
10
Smooshed Blueberry
technical term
11
Fried Okra
somehow both accurate and unsettling
12
Nervous Tick
a jittery yellow-green
13
Unattended Baggage Brown
TSA's least favorite
14
Cupcake Overdose
when pink commits a crime
15
Rage Against the Tangerine
punk rock orange
16
Slightly Possessed Violet
haunted but make it fashion
17
Kale Smoothie Regret
that greenish-brown mistake
18
Divorce Settlement Gray
comes with emotional baggage
19
Screaming Neon Therapy
loud enough to need a counselor
20
Grandma's Couch Floral
you can smell this color

Paint Colors That Sound Like Indie Bands

Paint companies have an alarming amount of fun naming their products, and honestly, most of these could headline a music festival. These names belong on vintage posters in a record store, not on the side of a Benjamin Moore can. Perfect for anyone who wants their living room to sound cooler than it actually looks.

21
Melancholic Mauve
their first album was better
22
The Wallflowers' Regret
too real
23
Acoustic Beige
unplugged and unapologetic
24
Velvet Underground Taupe
25
Moody Blues
But Literally
26
Garage Band Gray
27
Pearl Jam Preserve
sticky and nostalgic
28
Salmon Ella and the Food Poisoning
a dangerous shade of pink
29
Neutral Milk Hotel Cream
30
Blink-182 Lavender
all the small swings
31
Panic! At The Decor
bold choice
32
The Curious Beige of Benjamin Button
33
Arctic Monkeys White
34
Rage Against the Beige Machine
35
My Chemical Off-White
36
Death Cab for Khaki
37
Franz Ferdi-taupe
38
Fleetwood Macaroni
39
Hootie and the Blowfish Gray
yes, it's boring
40
The Shins but Make It Coral

Food-Inspired Color Names That Are Deeply Upsetting

Someone in the color-naming industry has a weird relationship with food, and we need to talk about it. These names make you question whether the namer has ever actually seen the food in question, or if they're just trying to ruin your appetite. Great for anyone who wants to paint their walls the same color as expired groceries.

41
Aged Guacamole
about three hours past its prime
42
Gas Station Sushi Green
43
Mayonnaise Left in the Sun
44
Sad Taco Meat Brown
45
Moldy Brie
why would you name it this
46
Curdled Milk White
47
Hot Dog Water Beige
a real crime
48
Grandma's Jello Salad
terrifying and lime-flavored
49
Divorced Dad's Leftover Chili
50
Mystery Meat Loaf Mauve
51
Gas Station Nacho Cheese
52
Beet Juice Accident
53
Kombucha Mother Pink
if you know, you know
54
Boiled Chicken Tan
55
Spam Loaf Surprise
56
Week-Old Smoothie Brown
57
Canned Asparagus Sadness
58
Hospital Cafeteria Green Beans
59
Olive Loaf No One Wanted
60
Questionable Buffet Salmon

Crayola Parody Names for Adults

Crayola made color names fun for kids. But what if they made a box for adults who are tired, cynical, and running on cold coffee? These are the shades that reflect real life — not the primary-color fantasy world we were sold in kindergarten. Perfect for coloring books you'll never finish and art projects that are really just procrastination.

61
Overdue Bill Red
62
Traffic Jam Burgundy
63
Forgot My Charger Gray
64
Unreturned Text Message Blue
65
Sunday Scaries Violet
66
Broke Until Payday Brown
67
Passive Income Fantasy Gold
emphasis on fantasy
68
Waiting for the Zoom Call to End Beige
69
LinkedIn Anxiety Blue
70
Email Inbox 1,847 Red
71
Laundry Mountain Gray
72
Group Project Rage Crimson
73
My Therapist Would Agree Teal
74
Midnight Snack Regret Orange
75
Car Warranty Scam Call Yellow
76
Coworker Microwaved Fish Green
77
Forgot Someone's Name Panic Pink
78
Dentist Appointment Dread
79
Read Receipt Regret Blue
80
Alarm Snooze #7 Mauve

Pretentious Designer Color Names That Cost Extra

High-end paint brands have convinced us that a $120 can of "Dove's Wing" is somehow better than regular gray. Spoiler: it's not. But the names? Chef's kiss. These are colors for people who describe their aesthetic as "curated" and have opinions about subway tile. They belong in design magazines you flip through but never buy.

81
Melancholy of a Well-Bred Spaniel
genuinely a Farrow & Ball color
82
Sulking Room Pink
for when your house has moods
83
Manor House Ennui
84
Aristocratic Moss
85
Borrowed Light
so deep, so expensive
86
Privilege Beige
87
Old Money Cream
88
Estate Sale Mauve
89
Heirloom Wallpaper Sadness
90
Trust Fund Taupe
91
Study Hall Silence
rich kid edition
92
Polo Match Khaki
93
Yacht Club Navy
94
Inherited China Cabinet Brown
95
Victorian Melodrama Violet
96
Downton Abbey Dust
97
Country Estate Fog
98
Library Ladder Gray
99
Conservatory Rain
100
Generational Wealth Ivory

Color Names That Sound Like Diseases

Somewhere, a marketing team decided that naming paint colors after symptoms was a good idea. Were they okay? Did they need a wellness check? These names sound like things you'd Google at 2 a.m. and then immediately regret. Perfect for hypochondriacs and anyone who enjoys making home improvement deeply uncomfortable.

101
Jaundice Yellow
102
Mild Rash Pink
103
Bruised Ego Purple
104
Frostbite Blue
105
Gangrene Green
absolutely not
106
Heatstroke Orange
107
Infected Blister Beige
108
Concussion Gray
109
Feverish Red
110
Nausea Chartreuse
111
Vertigo Swirl
112
Dehydration Tan
113
Sprained Ankle Violet
114
Migraine Aura White
115
Food Poisoning Taupe
116
Allergic Reaction Coral
117
Seasick Green
118
Insomnia Dark Circles
119
Caffeine Withdrawal Brown
120
Pulled Muscle Mauve

Weirdly Specific Nail Polish Names

Nail polish brands said, "What if we named our colors like inside jokes no one gets?" and honestly, we respect the chaos. These names are for people who want their manicure to come with a story, even if that story makes zero sense. Great for beauty lovers with a sense of humor and anyone who screenshots ridiculous product names.

121
Lincoln Park After Dark
iconic, mysterious, sounds like a crime scene
122
I'm Not Really a Waitress Red
OPI's best work
123
Couchella
for when you skip the music festival
124
Suzi Has a Swede Tooth
125
My Chihuahua Bites
126
You're Such a Budapest
127
Rich Girls & Po-Boys
cultural confusion
128
Lucerne-tainly Look Marvelous
129
Bogota Blackberry
130
Alpine Snow
It's Just White
131
A-Piers to Be Tan
132
The "It" Color
helpful
133
I Cannoli Wear OPI
134
Vampsterdam
goth meets geography
135
Mod About You
136
Thanks a Windmillion
137
Avojuice
It's Orange
138
Significant Other Color
139
Chocolate Moose
why the moose
140
Pearl Harbor Shade

Color Names Based on Emotions No One Admits To

Forget "happy yellow" and "calm blue." These are the colors that represent the feelings we actually experience on a daily basis but are too polite to mention. Perfect for anyone who wants their decor to reflect their internal monologue. Therapy not included, but maybe recommended.

141
Mildly Annoyed Beige
142
Suppressed Road Rage Red
143
I Said I'm Fine Gray
144
Petty Grudge Purple
145
Awkward Small Talk Green
146
Forced Smile Yellow
147
Quiet Resentment Taupe
148
Social Battery at 2% Blue
149
Avoidance Cream
150
Bottled Up Feelings Teal
151
Polite Disagreement Mauve
152
Secretly Judging You Coral
153
Simmering Irritation Orange
154
Emotionally Unavailable Navy
155
Repressed Memory Violet
156
Silent Treatment Slate
157
Controlled Chaos Tan
158
Low-Key Stressed Sage
159
Overthinking It Blue
160
Pretending to Care Khaki

Absurdly Long British Paint Names

British paint companies believe that a color name should be a full sentence, possibly with a backstory, and ideally make you feel like you're naming a racehorse. They're not wrong. These names are for people who enjoy a bit of drama with their home renovation and think "gray" is far too common.

161
The Colour of a Pigeon's Wing at Dusk
162
A Room Darkening But Still Elegant Plum
163
The Underside of a Mushroom After Rain
164
Slightly Faded Curtains in a Country Cottage
165
The Exact Hue of Overcast November
166
A Gentleman's Morning Waistcoat
167
Barely-There Whisper of Yesterday's Tea
168
The Shadow Beneath a Willow Tree
169
A Rather Polite Shade of Ochre
170
The Quietest Corner of the Drawing Room
171
Morning Mist Over the Moors
172
An Agreeable Sort of Greenish-Gray
173
The Lining of a Victorian Hatbox
174
Subdued Elegance with a Hint of Regret
175
The Color of Thoughtful Silence
176
A Modest but Well-Bred Taupe
177
Rain on Cobblestones at Half-Past Four
178
The Walls of a Respectable Library
179
The Gentle Fade of Old Wallpaper
180
A Distinguished Neutral with History

Funny Color Names for Creative Projects

Sometimes you need a color name that's just fun to say out loud. These are the shades that work for art projects, design mockups, branding experiments, or any time you need to name a color and "blue" just won't cut it. They're playful, weird, and way more memorable than anything in the standard palette.

181
Goblin Snot Green
182
Disappointed Flamingo Pink
183
Wizard Beard Gray
184
Confused Peacock Teal
185
Dragon Sneeze Purple
186
Mermaid Regret Aqua
187
Unicorn Nostril Pink
188
Hippo Sweat Orange
it's real, Google it
189
Alien Smoothie Green
190
Witch's Brew Brown
191
Fairy Fart Sparkle
192
Vampire Sunburn Red
193
Elf Earwax Yellow
194
Ghost Tan
Barely There
195
Sasquatch Fur Brown
196
Zombie Fingernail Gray
197
Pegasus Mane Silver
198
Kraken Ink Navy
199
Centaur Disappointment Beige
200
Troll Toenail Chartreuse

How to Use These Funny Color Names

Want to make your next project, paint swatch collection, or creative endeavor way more entertaining? Here's how to put these ridiculous color names to good use.

For Home Decor and Paint Projects: Print out fake paint swatches with these names and watch your partner's face when you suggest painting the living room "Existential Crisis Blue." Great for pranking anyone who takes Pinterest boards too seriously or spicing up a boring trip to the hardware store.

For Creative and Design Work: Use these in branding mockups, design presentations, or client pitches where you need placeholder names. They're way more fun than "Color 1" and "Color 2," and sometimes a ridiculous name actually sparks a better creative direction. Plus, your team will actually remember which shade you're talking about.

For Art Projects and Crafts: Label your paint tubes, markers, or digital color palettes with these names. It makes organizing your supplies weirdly more enjoyable, and when someone asks what color you used, you get to say "Divorced Dad's Leftover Chili" with a straight face.

For Social Media and Content Creation: Post a funny color palette with these names and watch the comments roll in. People love sharing absurd color names, especially when they're oddly specific or way too relatable. Bonus points if you actually create the matching color swatches to go with them.

For Pranks and Group Chats: Send these to your design-obsessed friends, your partner who's been agonizing over paint samples for three weeks, or your group chat that appreciates chaos. Screenshot a few favorites, create fake product labels, or just drop them into conversation and see who gets the reference.

Frequently Asked Questions

Are any of these real color names?

Shockingly, yes. "Elephant's Breath," "Dead Salmon," and "Unicorn Barf" are all real names used by actual paint or product companies. Some high-end brands have truly unhinged naming departments, and we're here for it.

Why do paint companies use such weird color names?

Because "beige" doesn't sell for $110 a gallon, but "Sulking Room Pink" does. It's marketing magic — give a color a story or a vibe, and suddenly it feels worth the extra cost. Also, paint namers probably have way too much fun with it.

Can I actually use these names for real projects?

Absolutely. Whether you're naming custom paint colors, organizing digital design files, labeling art supplies, or just trying to make your mood board more entertaining, these names work. Some might even inspire the actual color you're looking for.

What's the weirdest real paint color name ever?

Farrow & Ball's "Dead Salmon" is a strong contender, but "Elephant's Breath" takes the crown for sounding both fancy and deeply uncomfortable. Honorable mention to whatever marketing team approved "Mummy's Tomb."

Are Crayola crayon names actually this funny?

Real Crayola names are pretty tame, but they did give us classics like "Razzmatazz" and "Macaroni and Cheese." The parody adult versions just reflect what we wish they'd named the colors based on real-life stress and chaos.

Conclusion

Color names are proof that someone, somewhere, got paid to be ridiculous, and honestly, that's the dream job. Whether you're into pretentious designer shades that cost more than your rent, food-inspired hues that ruin your appetite, or just colors that sound like indie bands, there's a funny name out there for every mood and project. Next time someone asks what color you're using, skip "blue" and hit them with "Passive Aggressive Purple" instead. Life's too short for boring paint names. Now go forth and name things weird.

FunnyNamez Team

We collect, sort and test funny names for a living. Names that get zero laughs get cut. More about us.